Radio Transcript

Broadcast Date – October 21, 2001 on KCXY (Y95) - 95.3 FM

"Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the lord keep the city, the watchmen waketh but in vain" (Proverbs 127:2). These words could apply to the building of a temple, such as that in the days of Solomon or Zerubbabel. These words could apply to the building of a physical dwelling for a family. But when we look at Psalm 127 in its context, it seems more likely that it is a reference to the establishment of a family, consisting of a husband and wife and then later children. In all of these efforts, it is evident that men labor in vain if God is not the center of their efforts.

Imagine beginning with nothing more than a simple plot of land and building a house from the ground up. Then consider the many similarities between building a house, that is, a physical dwelling, and building something more than just a building, a family as God intended. What are some of the characteristics of a family that is built by God?

First, consider the design of the family. We can better understand the importance of God’s design for the family when we compare God’s design to a set of blueprints used by a crew of construction workers. In order for the finished product, that is, the completed building, to be what the architect had in mind, the workers must strictly adhere to the set of blueprints. Think of the chaos that would take place if the workers were not provided with specific plans that expressed the desire of the architect. Not only must the workers use a set of blueprints, but also all the workers must be using the same set of blueprints. Imagine the confusion that would exist if each worker used a different set of blueprints, each in conflict with the other.

Fortunately, God has provided us with his design for the family. This design can be seen in the first family, as recorded in Genesis 2:18-24: "And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

Further, in Genesis 4:1-2, we learn: "And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord. And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground."

God’s design for the family is unmistakably clear: one man and one woman married for life. Notice from the account of Adam and Eve, children come after the marriage, not before. Sadly, many people have tried to alter God’s design for the family. It is not uncommon to hear of a man and a woman living together without being married. We hear of single women choosing to bear and rear children alone. All too often we hear of "same sex" marriages. Friends, the commonly heard expression, "Man made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" is still true. Homosexuality and lesbianism are an abomination to God. Foolishly, many refer to this sinful behavior as merely an alternate lifestyle. I guess, in one sense, it is an alternate lifestyle. It is an alternative to the truth. It is an alternative to righteousness; it is an alternative to the lifestyle that God accepts. The Bible clearly teaches those homosexuals and lesbians who refuse to repent of their sinful behavior will be punished for all eternity. Listen to the words of Paul, recorded in I Corinthians 6:9-10: "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind. Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God."

Second, when considering the characteristics of a family that is built by God we consider the necessary ingredients. Before anyone begins to construct a building, he thoroughly reviews the plans to determine what materials will be needed. Likewise, we cannot build our homes as God intended us to without having the proper materials.

Our homes must be built on the foundation of God’s truth. Obviously, a home that has no room for God’s word will not be the kind of home God desires it to be. We ought to ask ourselves the same question Peter asked of Jesus, recorded in John 6:68: "Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life." Sadly, we see many of our homes going to the words of humanists and others who have little or no regard for Biblical principles.

Our families must be surrounded by walls of love. Foremost, a love for God followed by love for other members of the family. Children are able to find comfort when they know their parents love one another. Children are able to feel secure when they know they are loved. Listen to the words of Paul, recorded in I Corinthians 13:4-7: "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth." Friends, when family members love one another, as God desires, they are patient with one another. They are kind toward one another. They do not possess an unhealthy, haughty pride. They act unselfishly toward one another.

Our families must be filled with discipline. Discipline problems within our schools and society in general are often times no more than a reflection of discipline problems within the home. Whenever we hear the word discipline, we are quick to think of punishment. But friends, discipline involves much more than just punishment. Webster’s Dictionary defines discipline as "(1) instruction; (2) training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character (3) punishment (4) orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior (5) a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity." With these definitions in mind, it becomes obvious that God’s design for the family includes instructive discipline, corrective discipline, and yes, everyone, including parents, must practice self-discipline.

An atmosphere of respect is essential to a home that is built according to God’s design. In Ephesians 6:1-2, Paul wrote: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." Did you notice from Paul’s words what ought to be a child’s motivation for doing what is right? Not merely fear of punishment for doing wrong nor hope of reward for doing right. But simply because it is right! In addition, parents are to have a high regard for their children, recognizing that a child is in fact a gift from God. Listen to the words of Psalm 127:3: "Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."

Another of the essential ingredients for the home as God designed it is commitment. All around us, we recognize the need for commitment. Armies cannot be successful in battles if their members are not committed to their cause. Sports teams cannot reasonably expect to win a game if its athletes lose heart and give up. Friends, families are no different. Today’s families are threatened by a number of destructive forces, including: a breakdown of authority, atheism, humanism, the homosexual agenda, abortion, and evolution. But families whose members are committed to God and to one another are able to withstand these threats.

Third, when considering the characteristics of a family that is built by God we must consider the workers, that is, those persons who are responsible for building the family. Those individual members of the family.

Statistics from the recent United States Census indicate many are failing to work at building Christian families. The following statistics represent living patterns and trends during the ten years prior to the 2000 census. Households headed by unmarried persons grew by almost 72 percent during the past decade. Households headed by single mothers increased by more than 25 percent. Those led by single fathers grew by almost 62 percent. Nuclear families dropped to below 25 percent of households. A third (33 percent) of all babies born were born to unmarried women compared to only 3.8 percent in 1940. Same sex homes are soaring. In their own words, the Census Bureau said they are "skyrocketing" in the states of Vermont and Delaware. Other sources indicate cohabitation increased by close to 1,000 percent from 1960 to 1998.

Friends, the persons who are responsible for building Christian families are us! The church can encourage and helps its members in their efforts. But ultimately, the responsibility falls upon the members of the family. More specifically, the responsibility falls upon those who serve as husbands and fathers. Listen to Paul’s words recorded in Ephesians 5:23: "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church." Also notice Ephesians 6:4: "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Also notice Colossians 3:21: "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." Friends, we need men who, as husbands and fathers, will fulfill their responsibilities to their families.

Dear listener, are you building your family as God intended? Does your family conform to the design given by God? Does your family have the characteristics God desires? Are the members of your family accepting the responsibility God has given them?

"Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the lord keep the city, the watchmen waketh but in vain."

I thank you for your attention this morning and hope you can be back next week.

Rod Halliburton